Ladies, gentlemen, comrades—and anyone still wondering what on earth a "Cootie” is—allow me to introduce the newest, loudest, and proudly least‑coordinated addition to the Military Order of the Cootie:
Battlefield Buffons
(Yes, that’s "Buffons”—because we blew the second "o” on chow hall coffee rations. Spelling is optional; laughter is mandatory.)
Who are we?
-
A crack squad of veterans so elite we couldn’t pass a sobriety test on a pogo stick—so the VFW gave us our own tent.
-
Experts in advanced tactical tomfoolery, specializing in KP duty evasion, strategic napping, and the covert deployment of rubber chickens behind enemy podiums.
-
The only unit in history to receive a commendation for simultaneously losing and finding the same guidon.
Our mission:
-
Keep the fun in "fund‑raising.” If you’re not laughing, check your pulse—or your dues.
-
Spread contagious good cheer (the original "cooties”) to every VFW post, nursing home, and unsuspecting parade route.
-
Honor veterans by reminding them that a good belly‑laugh is sometimes the best battle‑rattle.
Dress code:
-
Red MOC "crummy” caps at a jaunty angle.
-
PT belts—for safety and fashion, mostly fashion.
-
Optional clown nose for meetings on months ending in "Y.”
Motto:
"If you can’t dazzle ’em with brilliance, baffle ’em with Buffons!”
So brace yourselves, fellow cockroaches, because Pup Tent 77 is here to turn solemn salutes into side‑splitting snickers—while still guarding the sacred trust of veteran fun‑raising with all the seriousness of a five‑star general guarding the last donut.
Fall in, laugh loud, and remember: if you leave our meeting without at least one new joke and three inexplicable stickers on your uniform, you weren’t paying attention.
